A few things to consider in 2022...

I woke up on this new morning of a brand-new year with a powerful urge to write. This hasn’t happened to me in a while. I have had things to say but the process of sitting down and writing has evaded me for a while; which saddens me. It has made me realize that I may not have been in the healthiest of mindsets this past year. For me, writing is therapy. It brings me joy to share my words. Yet, it’s been months and months since I have shared anything.

This past year was tough. I keep hearing people say that. It has been harder than the year the virus hit and we went into lockdown. And now we have a vaccine. It was supposed to return us to a new normalcy. I say new because people keep saying they want to return to normal. I am sorry to break this to you but we will never return to our old normal. We will find a path to cohabitate with this virus but it is never ending. This is not a pandemic. It is in fact an endemic. It is a truly an unwanted houseguest that is here to stay. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news. But I am a realist.

And that is what I want to talk about. Not this shitty virus and how awful our lives have been since it hit. We all know this. We live it daily. It has negatively affected all of us. My business was set up for this non-contact environment and it has taken a massive hit because of supply issues and food prices raising. Any benefits to these past two years have had its downfalls as well. But I am a firm believer in what does not kill us makes us stronger. That is if you choose to.

I have spoken in the past about how I avoid resolutions. Instead, I choose reflections and goals. I have reflected a lot on this year. I started it in a toxic cycle with someone I loved who did not treat me well. It affected most of my early days of this year. I had so many work goals and so much drive but it was flattened by my tormented mental state. At the same time, I had so many beautiful friends and loved ones supporting me, distracting me and helping me move forward each day. My pain forced me to seek. It brought me closer to my spirituality. It forced me to find fun in my life again. It helped me shed all the bullshit in my life. I no longer had time for anyone or anything that did not serve me. Nothing was going to overpower my joy like he had. I am so grateful for this lesson. It taught me to be selfish with my time and my energy. What a gift!

I worked really hard the rest of the year to find balance in my life. I spent the first three and half years of Maikana doing nothing but working. My life was Maikana. It haunted my dreams, my every moment. It was not healthy. I am so tired of hearing about this hustle culture we all strive for. Be the busiest mom, the hardest working employee- and if you don’t hustle day in and day out, you’ll never achieve anything. I’m OVER it. I refuse to look back on my life and know that it was spent sitting at a computer going over numbers and emailing people back at midnight. Maikana- which really means all of you- has provided me with the ability to have my life. And there are no words for how incredibly grateful I am for that. You are all the catalysts for the roof over my head and the food in my fridge. Thank you, thank you, thank you. But I have learned this past year that I have to make room for living. What is the point of having this life if you are not living it to the best of your ability?

I cannot be stifled by the virus. I cannot be beholden to answering emails all day long. I understand and respect both of those things but I have to lead my life the way that I see fit. I will not be swallowed by the fear of not hustling and the fear of illness. And that is the problem I see when people say “this is the worst year yet”. They are all operating out of fear. And hey, I get it. I have been there. Fear is not all bad but when it is dictating your every move, I promise you, you will keep having awful years.

And I am not just referring to the virus. I am referring to all things. If you fear losing the person you love daily, like I did earlier this year, you will be miserable trying to anxiously attach. If you fear not making enough money, you will live in a world of stress. If you fear taking that leap in your life and following your dreams, you will live with regret. If you fear letting go and moving forward, you will stay stagnant. If you fear rejection, you will live a life of complacency. Fear may protect us at times but it is not our friend. So ask yourself with every decision, is this choice made out of fear? And if you find the answer is yes, try seeking to reroute your choices. It will change your life for the better.

Because when we are not leading with fear- which is how I spent the first half of this year: fear of loss, fear of not achieving enough, fear of my finances, etc- we are then leading our lives out of love. Choosing to let go of fear-based choices means you are leading from a more positive place in your mind. Love being the umbrella of all positive thinking. And although I always try to live by the rules of love, sometimes life has to throw you some curveballs to remind you.

And so, I woke up this first morning of 2022 next to my new partner, who reminds me daily that I can love and laugh again without fear of loss or fear of not being good enough. I woke up in pure gratitude that I have a career that I created with the help of all of you that provides me so many beautiful things. I woke up to my dog snoring loudly reminding me that I am never alone, even when I feel lonely. I woke up to text messages from so many people wishing me a beautiful year ahead- reminding me that I am constantly surrounded by love. I woke up- period. I am healthy. I am certainly not perfect but I am proud of who I am and who I am becoming.

And so, under this umbrella of a so-called awful 2021, I ask you to find the cliched silver linings. Because they are there. I promise you. We cannot eliminate the suffering and pain of our lives, they are sadly a permanent fixture, but we can work on improving the way we live with the dark clouds. We can realize how short this life is but how long our days are- and choose to live each day with love, purpose and service to the higher good of the collective. We can stop complaining about our situation and find the lessons and beauty of each moment. And we can choose to change what isn’t bringing us joy. This is a reminder that this is your life- and you are in control of how you live each day. And today is day one. A whole damn lot can change in 365 days. So how are you going to take the first step in a new year? How is you going to define this year? It’s up to you!

All my love,
Jamiesonxo