Emotional Dowry
I recently watched a show on Netflix and a person in it used the term "emotional dowry" and I was immediately attracted to that term. It got me thinking about the emotional sacrifices we tend to make in order to appease others and ourselves.
For those who don't know the term dowry, it is the exchange of goods or money from a bride's family to her husband and his family to sweeten the pot for their future nuptials. It is paying or sacrificing in order to appease and gain approval from your future spouse. Typically the heftier the dowry, the better chance to marry into higher society.
To me, the idea of emotional dowry is what emotions are we giving or sacrificing all day long in order to appease the world around us. And more importantly, are you giving more of your self than you are receiving back? Because that tends to be my problem. I will give and give and give and by the day's end, I am exhausted and then I have to seek ways to replenish that emotional frequency.
Lately, I have been paying a very sizeable emotional dowry. There have been negative people surrounding me- not by choice- and I've finally spent the past two weeks cleaning house. (I will dive into this more at a later time) I really struggle to understand people who are not compassionate and understanding. I struggle to understand people who do not 100% support and lift up others. I always come from a place of kindness and when that is not reciprocated, my mind feels like I'm living in the twilight zone. These types of people drain all my energy and emotions.
But then the question becomes, how do I set the boundaries to not pay the emotional dowry? How do I navigate the sometimes draining world when I wear my heart on my sleeve? When we allow our emotions to be the forefront of our daily decisions, you're giving them too much power. What I am slowly learning is that my emotional dowry is controlled by me. I have the choice to allow situations to drain me or I have the choice to walk away. The whole "NO" in November, has been pivotal in my thought process. I am setting healthy boundaries. I am removing anger and sadness from situations that are not serving me. I am focusing on people, places and things that lift me up and stand by me.
Take stock of your emotional dowry. Look at where your mind is focused and ask yourself, if that is where you want your energy spent? Say goodbye and good riddance to excessive emotional dowry.
Namaste,
Jamiesonxo