Dealing with our Story...

Some of us have already lost or know someone who lost a loved one to COVID. I, sadly, had a friend’s father pass away this week in New York and my heart goes out to him and his family.  But this is just the beginning. This is the beginning of our story. When 9/11 happened, we can all recall where we were, how we reacted, the beginning, middle and aftermath of the tragedy of that day. It has been imprinted as a chapter in our story.

Thus, we begin to write another horrible chapter in our book. This pandemic is going to be remembered by some of us differently, but for most of us, it will be the same story with different characters. We will talk about schools closing and homeschooling our kids. We will talk about the anxiety and boredom and the chaos of how to deal with each day. We will talk about the numbers and facts. And then sadly we will talk about the dead. This, too, is a fact that a lot of us haven’t had the misfortune of experiencing yet. But it will happen- we will all know someone who died in this tragic way.

And if this doesn’t conjure up gratitude for where you stand right now. If this fact, doesn’t make you want to call all the people you love and tell them that. If this fact, doesn’t make you want to be more vulnerable and true to your heart. If this fact, doesn’t make you find a deep appreciation for every aspect of your life- good and bad, then I suggest you see a therapist.

Because you are not promised tomorrow. You aren’t even promised the next minute or hour. We all feel semi-invincible. We all know death is a part of our story, but we assume we have time. We put things off until tomorrow. We don’t make that call or send that text or email. We have all said “I’ll do it tomorrow.” And now is not the time for that. I am not saying go paint your fence or organize your closet. I am talking about doing the things that will matter on your last breath. Like write that novel you keep talking about. Or begin to plan that trip you’ve waited five years for. Or forgive that person you fought with. Or tell the person you love you love them. Do not feed the ego right now; feed the soul.

While our stories begin to unfold, here are some things to keep in mind:

1.     This too shall pass.

2.     Kindness is key. To yourself and to others.

3.     Nothing is permanent. Not emotions, not this moment, nothing.

4.     Suffering, as awful as it is, is an invaluable tool. Great change and growth comes from suffering.

5.     Live a life that makes your soul fly- even during these difficult times. You can adjust your expectations but still show up for yourself.

6.     You are not alone. In your feelings, your space, in all of it.

7.     We are all connected, so please keep that in mind when you’re making your choices. You are not invincible. You are not protected by race, finances, gender, etc. You are me and I am you.

8.     It is ok to not feel good. It is ok to not be productive. It is ok to be in whatever space you need to be in to protect yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for not tackling the to-do list.

9.     The inner critic and the ego are very loud in moments of uncertainty and when you feel a lack of control- be aware of them and acknowledge them but then tell them to go to hell.

10. Vulnerability can feel like an unsafe space to some, but it is the tool that will help us heal from this. Open yourself up to it more.  

Right now vulnerability is the forefront of a lot of emotions, whether we realize it or not. There is a collective vulnerability that we are all experiencing in our communities. We do not feel safe and we are so worried for our loved ones and that is scary. This chapter is highlighting a lot of our insecurities. Look at them, get curious about them and do your best to heal and work on them. This is not an easy process, but sitting with your raw exposed insecurities is the greatest way to grow.

And while we come to terms with our vulnerabilities and weaknesses as a culture, we are also realizing our lack of power, of control. Btw, you’ve never had any of those things. Control is an illusion manifested by the ego to make us safe.  But while we are coming to terms with this powerlessness, we are also finding our courage. We are taking each day in stride. We are realizing we can survive situations we did not imagine possible. We are still creating and showing up for ourselves and our loved ones. This is a beautiful thing. In the depths of our despair, we find our courage and strength.

I know this rant sits uneasy but also hopeful. Like our current situation, it is all over the place and filled with emotions. Just keep reminding yourself that this too shall pass and that the chaos, anxiety and all the icky emotions you’re feeling are communal. You are not alone and you are loved.

Be love, share love,

Jamiesonxo