We are closing...temporarily

In three weeks, Maikana will be closing for six weeks. Why, you ask? There are a few reasons, but mainly it is so I can go home for the first time in five years and see my family and friends. And since my home is smack dab in the middle of the Pacific Ocean- it is not an easy trek and requires a lot of catch-up time with loved ones. In case you're new here and do not know this fun fact, I am from the Fiji Islands. 

And since I always keep it authentic on here- I am also incredibly burned out. Between my work and personal life- I am beyond spent. I am emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted. I am in dire need of something, anything, that will refill my creative tank. I feel like I’ve lost my motivation, passion and drive. I am situationally depressed, according to my therapist. Meaning I am not a depressed person but currently, I cannot get out of a depressive state, typically brought on by stress and trauma. I feel like a hamster stuck on a wheel with no end in sight. I am not currently fulfilling my human potential. And I absolutely hate that. And hate is not a word I choose often or lightly. I have somehow lost my deep inner joy and drive. 

And I have tried all my usual go-tos: meditation, breathwork, paddleboarding, just being out on the water, cold plunging, working out, yoga, running, therapy, etc. Nothing seems to help. All things feel like a distraction from the unwavering questions: is this my life? Is this the actual best that I can do?

 So, I am going to remove myself from the daily grind and refocus my energy into seeking answers. I am going to take this large pause (and risk) and hopefully replace the missing pieces of what was my beautiful puzzle. 

As an islander, my mum believes that we need to be constantly fueled by our traditional culture, our ocean, our people, our ancestral spirits. So, the longer we are away from Fiji, the stronger the pull to go home becomes. And I’ve been feeling that pull for a while. I am choosing to put my mental and physical health first and spend time at home and traveling. I am not running away from my problems; I realize they will exist upon return. Just like a plant, I am removing myself from the environment that is making me sick in order to heal. And hopefully to find my way back to myself or, even better, to a new elevated, fulfilled version of myself.

I obviously battled this decision for a while. It is not easy to shut down a small business for this long period of time. It is not easy to leave behind clients that I care for deeply. I am eternally grateful for all of you that make my life easy and enjoyable each week. For all the kind notes and kind words, I am so so so grateful. I am writing all of this with tears streaming down my face because you have no idea what your support has meant to me and how difficult it is to face my own truths and really dig into the shadow parts of myself. To really figure out what is keeping me tethered to this pain.

We will pause all subscriptions from Friday, July 28 until I return. I will be sharing my travels on my personal social media- @thefijianchef - if you’d like to travel along with me.

I am sincerely sorry to anyone that feels like we are leaving them high and dry. That is obviously not my intention. My intention is to return with renewed passion for my life and hopefully that renewal will fuel the love I have for cooking and the entrepreneurial life. In my current state, I am not serving you at my best capacity. And I am very sorry for anyone that has had to experience that.

I hope you will all understand and support me in this difficult decision. Ultimately, I am trying to be better for myself, but that also means better for all of you. I believe in energy, and if you are not sharing positive uplifting energy in all aspects of your life and in your work, then you are not operating at your highest level, and it will show. 

I love you all and am so thankful for your support over these six, almost seven, years. Thank you for believing in me and Maikana. Without you, this means nothing. Thank you for your continued love, support and understanding of my time away.

All my love,

Jamiesonxo