It's JUST a season...

You know when a statement or term just keeps popping up in your life? This has been happening to me with the saying, “it's just a season” the past few weeks. Everyone keeps mentioning it or referring to it in some way. No lie, probably 50 plus times the past few weeks, four times just today. From my parent friends mentioning it in reference to their kids or family members and friends who are going through a tough time or struggling with work or depression, they all keep saying “well it's just for this season”. And like most things, there is a reason I have been hearing this left and right- I needed to be reminded that everything is really just a season. 

I could get into the whole Buddhist idea of impermanence, but we all know that nothing last forever. Nothing in life is permanent. We all know that difficult chapters or situations eventually come to an end. We all know that good things will also end. We all know that just like nature, we exist in seasons. So, the question is, what season are you now and are you aware of its impermanence? 

If you had met me a couple months ago, you'd never believe that I am the same person I am today. I was severely depressed and really going through some difficult emotions, trying to process it all while feeling burnt out from work. I was crying all the time and just felt like there is really no point to my life. It was awful. But within five weeks, my entire life has shifted. Of course, I am traveling the world and that in itself will change your life. And I am so grateful for the opportunity to do so because I realize that is not an option for everyone. But my point is that two months ago, I was deep in my season of difficult emotions, depression and burn out. But it was only a season. It was a small, but important, sliver of my whole story. It was not forever, although it certainly felt like it was. But my season did change.  So please, bear in mind that seasons will always shift. You can and will grow out of it, if you allow space for that. Sometimes we like to stick in our low moments because it begins to feel comfortable. It begins to feel like our entire story. But it isn't. This is just one of your many seasons. 

I am in a serious rebirth season. I wrote my last blogpost about leaning in and that has not changed. I have been going with the flow and saying yes to every experience that pops into my life. And it has been such an incredible journey thus far. Mind-blowing, really. I have met so many amazing humans on my travels and I know there will be so many more to come. I am currently in the Gold Coast of Australia visiting family and friends. And only six days in, I have experienced so much joy and magic.

 One of my good friends, who is also a famous restauranteur and now owns a popular coffee chain in the area, surprised me with a couple nights stay in a beach hotel in Byron Bay, a place I've always wanted to visit, but was not on my to-do list. When I arrived in Byron, I ran into a girlfriend from Connecticut who migrated to London four years ago and got to spend a couple hours with her before she left to fly back home. It was so amazing to randomly reconnect on the other side of the world. The next morning, I had the most magical sunrise hike up to the Byron Bay lighthouse where whales were breaching all along the coast. I reached out to my local girlfriend's business partner who is a longtime local in Byron, and he offered to take me out on surfboards to see if we could find some whales. We did happen to see some pods far offshore but nothing close to us. Just as we were about to head in, out of nowhere, a beautiful humpback whale came right under my surfboard and breached to take a big breath right next to me. I could have touched her she was so close. And just off to the left of us dolphins were jumping. As soon as this happened, I said a massive thank you aloud to the ocean and to my island ancestors. As an islander, we are very tuned into the powerful spirit of the ocean, and I have always thanked my ancestors for my experiences on the water. Within a minute of me saying that statement of gratitude, a giant loggerhead turtle popped its head up right in front of my board. And if you know me, you know sea turtles are my spirit animal. I even have a Polynesian sea turtle tattooed on my ankle (sorry dad!). 

How incredible is that?! A humpback whale, dolphins and a turtle all within ten minutes. Mind-blowing doesn't even cover it. 

This is what Polynesians call “mana”. This is the deep spiritual connection between all of nature. It is the essential life force and powerful energies that exist all around us and when you are attuned to that energy, you can experience mana. That day in Byron was filled with mana. Even my friend who paddled out with me said in the thirty years he has lived there and surfed on the daily, he has never seen anything like that happen. Every Polynesian friend and relative that has heard my story, immediately responds with “that's mana”. This is my culture's magical and powerful connection to nature and source, and I was blessed with serious mana that day. Honestly, this whole trip, I have been blessed with mana. It has been a nonstop flow of powerful meetings and experiences. So, this is my season of rebirth, reclaiming my magic and serious mana. 

Since I had been so seriously depleted when I left the states, I honestly, did not even know if I had it in me to do this long journey. I almost backed out multiple times. But the best part has been the journey I have taken within me. I have renewed my power source within. I have examined my past mistakes these couple years and really gotten deep into my self-forgiveness and self-love. I am constantly reminding myself that we can only do our best and make the best choices with the knowledge that we know at the time. A serious reminder whenever you are looking to forgive yourself or others. The person who made decisions a year ago is not the same person who exists today. And there is so much grace in that. We have to have compassion for our past selves. We have to love them fiercely because they did the best that they could. We have to let go of those past selves and allow space for new seasons and versions of ourselves to emerge. 

So, if you are in a season that is feeling icky and tough or just feeling stuck in general, this is your friendly reminder that this too shall pass. This is just one of your many seasons. Nothing lasts forever. This is also a serious reminder to be super grateful for the great moments, because those too do not last forever. I am in such a deep state of gratitude for everything that was born out of my haste decision to hop on a plane. I allowed myself to break open and let the world do its magic. And she has certainly provided. Yet another reminder: make space for the shift to begin. You cannot stay present or make energetic room for the future, if you are constantly living in the past. 

Cheers to all of us having great seasons ahead! 

Hanisi xo

(it means love in my native language of Rotuman)